You know when you head into the new year, all hyped up and excited, full of fresh ideas and incredible goals?

And some of those ideas and goals are really, really good.  You start eliminating some old habits and start creating new ones. Learning new things.  Pushing into uncharted territory.  Simplifying and weeding out where its needed.

It takes about a week before you realize that some of the ideas weren’t going to pan out as well as you’d imagined.  It dawns on you that maybe a few of those plans were a little too, ummmmm, let’s say, impulsive?

Yours truly did just that.  In the excitement of my in-progress book, The Shameless Project, I thought it would be great to smash everything that I’ve learned in the past year and pieces of my manuscript all into a 30 day blog post series.

Yes.  I DID figure out that this was one of those “not so good” ideas.

Everything that I’ve been fighting against for the past year – perfectionism, comparison, self-doubt, etc.. – came rushing back as I tried to capture 12 months of learning in 1000 words or less each day.

My goal, of course, was genuine.  I wanted to offer HOPE to those of you who are in the middle of a Shame struggle having to do with sin, or who they are or circumstances that are beyond their control. I have experienced such miraculous healing that I want everyone to come to a place of freedom from Shame.

But each time I sat down to write, I felt heavy, as if going further and further into a dark cave with a weighty pack on my back and I can only imagine what you, my reader were experiencing as you read each day’s post as I led you there. I wanted to bring you out of a dark place and it only felt that we were treading in deeper each day, regardless of the hope I longed to be expressing.

After thinking, talking and crying about it I’ve figured out that this is too much information for this type of setting. Too intensive for a skim-over in blog land.

So, without Shame (:-)), I am going to stop the 30 To Life segment here.  Instead, I’ll focus all the more on finishing up my book and watching and waiting for God to use it as He sees fit.

Those of you who have been praying about this and have been so supportive and encouraging, you are so greatly appreciated.  

I’m also thankful to my blogging mentor, Laura, who helped me come to this conclusion and released me from the angst I felt in walking away from this. (Shame tried desperately to bark in my ear about “not finishing a project” and Laura and I had to bark right back!)

Thank you for your understanding, friend. Enjoy your beautiful weekend and know that you are fully and deeply loved by the God who has nothing but a shameless life of soul freedom in mind for you!

xoxoxo

j