God is working.  I just know it.  Not because I could feel it today.  In fact, I didn’t feel it at all today.  I felt uneasy and anxious.  And that’s how I know He’s working on something.  Because He has taken me to a very humble, on-my-face place today, to trust Him completely.  And every time I am in that place, He begins to do something wonderful.

I am not good at being weak.  I don’t know if it’s because I am a firstborn with an inborn sense of responsibility, or the fact that Mark travels and I have to handle things by myself much of the time, or that I am drawn to people in need, but I rest more easily in the “strong” seat.  I love helping and encouraging others.  I love talking and praying with them.  I love offering a hand if practical things need to be done.  But I am not good at standing in their shoes and asking for help.

Today, because I was feeling anxious, I was having a particularly weepy, raw day.  I spent time with Jesus, just talking with Him about it and hoping that would be all that I would need, knowing that His perfect love is what gets rid of my fear.  But He decided to put some skin on today.  I had an amazing time at coffee with a new friend here.  Honest, open, real conversation.  We laughed and we cried.  And we walked away smiling and I thanked Jesus for the provision of another precious new friend who will walk this road with me.

Then, I got a phone call from a friend in AZ whom I have been missing terribly.  She had just called because she missed me and wanted to catch up.  But I know that Jesus put a bug in her ear to ask her to do so, because it so touched my heart.  We shared our hearts and she let me cry and then she prayed with me.  And Jesus was right there.

We can’t do this life solo.  And I cannot always be the strong one.  And when I am weak, I need to ask Jesus to put on skin.  I need to let others minister to me, as I would to them.  Difficult for a stubborn DIY girl.  But there is a certain lightness that comes with sharing the load.  It’s how Jesus meant it to be.  And He helped me with mine through two unknowing precious women.

As excruciating as feeling weak is, I am always thankful for how it brings me to my knees, recognizing that Jesus is, indeed, present and very much at work, especially when I am completely broken before Him.  2 Corinthians 12:8-10 -“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.”