I have a friend named Kirby

He’s been a friend for years

He’s big and strong and works real hard

A leader among peers

He’s pushed around by women

Who use him all the time

But he just rolls along

As if everything is fine

He has a hefty appetite

Doesn’t leave a crumb

Brings things to the surface

So they’re not swept under the rug

When he’s feeling sick

This homemaker’s out of luck

Cuz when he’s feeling healthy

Is the only time he sucks

See, Kirby is my vacuum

I use him everyday

He works his little tail off

With little time to play

But my Kirby is so sick today

Seems to have no appetite

So I took him to the “clinic”

So they can make him right.

And I miss him terribly now

As I see crumbs on the floor

He’s never been away from home

When he’s been sick before

My Swiffer works on dog hair

My broom can hit a puck

But only  my sweet Kirby

Is the friend that really sucks!